Who makes the AFC and NFC rosters of the Bizarro Pro Bowl?

The votes are in, the players have been selected, and the 2020 Pro Bowl is finally here. The Pro Bowl — in case you live under a rock — is the end of the season matchup, this year in Orlando, Florida, that features the best players of the AFC versus the best players of the NFC. The game itself has the unfortunate reputation of being fairly lackluster over recent years but it still draws in thousands of viewers each season. The Pro Bowl selections are made using a system of players, coaches, and fan voting over the course of several weeks. But this got me thinking: what would a Bizarro Pro Bowl look like?

Bizarro World is a strange planet in the Superman comic book universe where everything is either inverted or the exact opposite of itself back on Earth. So, on Bizarro World, the players of the NFL Pro Bowl would be the “worst of the worst” of each conference. I guess the winner would also be selected by who scored the least points, but let’s not get into the logistics. 

Recently, one of my colleagues did a post on this year’s Pro Bowl snubs — who should have been selected to the Pro Bowl based on our proprietary metrics: Pro Football Network’s OSM. We simply used our metrics to look at overall grades of each offensive skill position to see who wound up on top at the end of the regular season. So, to build my Bizarro teams, I used the same system but looked at the lowest overall graded players in each position. I only reviewed the regular season stats and did not include any post-season performances. In order for a player to record an overall OSM grade, he must have at least 128 total pass attempts for QBs, 85 rushing attempts for RBs, and 43 targets for WRs or TEs. 

American Football Conference

Overall OSM Team Grade: 21.07

Quarterbacks:
Jacoby Brissett – IND (16.45)
Drew Lock – DEN (17.22)
Gardner Minshew – JAX (17.57)

Running Backs: 
Austin Ekeler – LAC (8.22)
Joe Mixon – CIN (9.11)
Damien Williams – KC (9.40)

Tight Ends:
Mike Gesicki – MIA (30.31)
Dawson Knox – BUF (31.56)
Tyler Eifert – CIN (32.76)

Wide Receivers:
Preston Williams – MIA (26.38)
Auden Tate – CIN (26.84)
Mike Williams – LAC (27.06)

The Bizarro AFC team has a lower overall team grade, but just barely. At 21.07, it’s roughly half a point lower than the NFC counterpart. The AFC has the weaker group of quarterbacks, led by the starter Jacoby Brissett — who ended the regular season with an 88 passer rating, 60.9 completion percentage, six interceptions, and the lowest overall QB OSM grade in the NFL. We also have a 2019 Super Bowl contender on the roster with Damien Williams of the Kansas City Chiefs making an appearance as one of the lowest graded RBs overall. 

I can’t go any further without mentioning the tight end group of our Bizarro team. Tight ends across the NFL overall generally score high OSM grades so, even on our list of lowest overall grades, we still end up with some pretty impressive players here. The tight end group of the Bizarro AFC, led by Mike Gesicki of the Miami Dolphins, all have an OSM grade that scores Very Good on our metrics. But nevertheless, they are still the lowest graded tight ends overall.

The Cincinnati Bengals are sending the most number of players to this AFC team. 

National Football Conference

Overall OSM Team Grade: 21.62

Quarterbacks:
David Blough – DET (17.87)
Teddy Bridgewater – NO (18.92)
Jared Goff – LAR (19.08)

Running Backs:
David Johnson – ARI (7.02)
Kenyan Drake – ARI (10.55)
Miles Sanders – PHI (10.64)

Tight Ends:
T.J. Hockenson – DET (28.63)
Cameron Brate – TB (32.40)
O.J. Howard – TB (32.49)

Wide Receivers:
Breshad Perriman – TB (27.15)
Marquez Valdes-Scantling – GB (27.18)
Curtis Samuel – CAR (27.46)

The Bizarro NFC team Pro Bowl roster has an overall OSM team grade of 21.62. Their running back group consists of both of the Arizona Cardinals’ RBs and is led by David Johnson who had the lowest overall OSM grade of any player in the 2019 regular season. The players that joined our team as the lowest graded NFC quarterbacks were David Blough, Teddy Bridgewater, and Jared Goff. 

Much like the AFC, the tight end selection here is made up of several good players. In fact, if I was taking the lowest four grades as opposed to the lowest three, Greg Olsen would have made our Bizarro NFC team as one of the lowest graded players. That just goes to show how impactful tight ends were this season. 

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers have the most number of players represented on the NFC team. 

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